Ask a bogan: man-up

Dear Bogans,

My mate Gavin has been really involved with a new bird on the scene in the past month and I feel the problem is our friendship has taken a back seat to her.

Please advise.

Phil, Battersea

Dear Phil,

Man the fuck up and stop watching so much Oprah. Ever think that maybe the problem is you being so bloody needy? He’s in the early and highly sexual (yet temporary) phase of a new relationship. We advise YOU go do something manly this weekend and stop being such a winging little sissy. Shovel a barrow of sand, get down the pub and swear at the footy, get lost and ask absolutely no one for directions – just something to boost the testosterone levels a bit princess. You know the saying bro’s before ho’s? Well Tupac was wrong Phil, it’s not that cut and dry – sometimes it’s ho’s and sometimes it’s bro’s and right now it’s a bit more ho’s than bro’s, bro. He’ll be back, just give it time.

With love,

Bogan Trev